Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Beginning of the End

I've put my shops on vacation mode for the time being. Ken has gone downhill extremely fast and yesterday he was in so much pain he just couldn't even sit still. His doctor had written his pain prescriptions wrong (less mg) so I took what I was given and gave Ken double everything so that it was the same dose he was receiving before Irefilled them. The hospice nurse called to get more &/or something different, but he (the doctor) wouldn't do it. So, the hospice nurse managed to get Ken a room at the hospice center. Its very nice here and his pain is finally under control and he's resting comfortably. He may only have 1 day left, or it could be a few, no one can say for sure. I went home to sleep last night, but will probably stay here the rest of the time except for going home to visit Velvet and to get cleaned up. They have a shower here, but I'd rather just go home for it.

I'll probably be online a lot or reading. Trying to keep my sh*t together and my mind occupied. I just keep running through all the things I procrastinated on and now i have to deal with it all now when i'm most unable to. luckily i have a very close knit family and we'll manage through together. I hope he doesn't die tomorrow because he really hates the number 13.


  1. I will continue to keep you, Ken and your family lifted in prayer. I am so sorry, Shari.

  2. My tears are flowing for you my dear friend. I so wish I could be there for a hug and just to sit with you. You are so loved by all of us. May God open the window of glory just a peek for you to see....

  3. Shari~My arms are around you in a "virtual" hug right now....and still I am so amazed that even with the news you are sharing you brought a smile to my face with your hope that Ken doesn't leave you on a date he really hates. You are truly an amazing woman and I pray that you find some peace and comfort knowing that although you will suffer here without Ken, he will be in a glorious pain-free place...

    Please forgive me if I sound cliche'...The arms of Jesus are wide open and waiting and his joy at receiving Ken is immeasurable. I pray you also feel His loving presence with you as you move though this difficult time ahead. God Bless you, Shari~
    With much love~

  4. Shari, I am so sorry -- I can't tell you how much :( I'm so glad that Ken isn't huring right now and am so sad that you are. Lean on your family and on us if you can. You know any of us would do anything you asked of us without hesitation. Try your best not to worry about relatively little, insignificant things and just be with Ken and your family right now. We all love you so much and are carrying you deep in our hearts right now...

  5. I am sorry Shari. I wish there was something I could do for you. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sitting here crying and Cody is trying to lick my tears away. Hugs!!!

  6. Shari, I am so sad for you my friend. It is so hard to find the words to say. I know it does not compare, but I am hurting with you.
    Talk to him, tell him how you feel. Tell him how much you love him, and always will. It is time to let him go. I guess you already know that. But he will always be with you. And he won't be in pain anymore, but will watch over you.
    I love you. We all love you. I wish I could be with you, sit with you, hold you.
    Please do not worry about anything else, but what you need to.
    I know you will be reading the forum at times, as you said, but do not feel you have to respond. We know you are there.
    My arms are around you, and I am crying with you.

  7. Well, I am glad Ken is getting proper meds now and you both are getting some much needed support at the center. Sorry, that you both have to go through all this and prayers and hugs are being sent right now.

    Shari, I think you know how much you are being loved, prayed for, and supported.

    Like others have said do not worry about the little things right now. Take as much time as you need. The team is here for you, and we got the team covered until you get back. The team blog will be covered by us Monday or even longer if needed. The team pawmotion will be covered by us. Just take care and know we love you.

    Give Ken and Velvet hugs from us all.

    Sasha is sending lots of doxie kisses your way.

  8. Shari,
    I am so sad for you having to go through the pain of watching Ken slip slowly. I am happy his pain has been minimized. Do not use any of your energy to worry about us. We will be here with open arms when you need us.
    I hope you can feel and take some comfort in this circle of friends and know our love and prayers surround you.
    Try to dwell on all the happy moments and memories you have had with your beloved Ken.

  9. Shari - I'm praying for Ken and you and the family at this most difficult time.

    God has never left you and never will. He is the great Comforter and lover of your soul.

    I pray that each of you will experience the amazing peace of God through this.

    And when you say your last goodbyes that you will have the hope of meeting again in Heaven where you all can be together forever, but most of all will meet your Saviour, Jesus Christ.

    He is right there with arms open wide.
    John 3:16

    With love,

  10. I just got teary telling James about Ken's condition. But I got teary also because I was thinking about the incredible peace I felt after waking up after my car wreck. It is moving to me to this day, 14 years later. Shari, if you can feel past your own pain, try to take any comfort and relief in the knowledge that Ken no longer will be feeling any pain, only joy.