Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Do Over

I'm going through some stuff right now, mostly on a "relationship" that didn't work out.  In times like these I look to different things to inspire me to heal quickly.  First of all, I have a very supportive family, and a fantastic group of friends to support me and to always say the right thing.  I listen to soft, calming music, read the bible and meditate.  Occasionally, though, I'll think of a line from a movie or a song that gets me through the situation.  This particular instance took me back to the movie, "City Slickers".  The 3 main characters were sitting in front of a tent; everything seemed to be going wrong for their one friend, and Billy Crystal told him 'life is a do-over'.  If you don't like how this decision worked out, start over again, try again until you get the result you want. (paraphrased there).  So, that's the attitude I've taken since my husband passed away.  I've made tremendous progress, too, but need to realize that there are still going to be plans that go wrong and I will need to reassess my life and my life's path and to try, try again.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Anniversary #27

Today would have been my 27th wedding anniversary.  I don't know when, if ever, you stop counting them after your spouse passes away, but I've been dwelling on this day all month.  I don't really understand what it is about marriage, but something happens when you say "I do" that transforms two individual people into a couple; two halves of a whole.  People will argue that, but I think they're just in denial.  Even if you drift apart through the years, even if your feelings completely change for each other, that connection will always be there.  When the couple is torn apart, especially by death, it leaves a big hole that will never be filled.  You can shrink it a bit, but its never completely gone.

I came across this coffee cup at work a couple of weeks ago.  It was one that Ken loved to use and kind of fits the situation and definitely fits the way he lived his life.

Words to live by.

Ken Weeks 1951-2011