I've put my shops on vacation mode for the time being. Ken has gone downhill extremely fast and yesterday he was in so much pain he just couldn't even sit still. His doctor had written his pain prescriptions wrong (less mg) so I took what I was given and gave Ken double everything so that it was the same dose he was receiving before Irefilled them. The hospice nurse called to get more &/or something different, but he (the doctor) wouldn't do it. So, the hospice nurse managed to get Ken a room at the hospice center. Its very nice here and his pain is finally under control and he's resting comfortably. He may only have 1 day left, or it could be a few, no one can say for sure. I went home to sleep last night, but will probably stay here the rest of the time except for going home to visit Velvet and to get cleaned up. They have a shower here, but I'd rather just go home for it.
I'll probably be online a lot or reading. Trying to keep my sh*t together and my mind occupied. I just keep running through all the things I procrastinated on and now i have to deal with it all now when i'm most unable to. luckily i have a very close knit family and we'll manage through together. I hope he doesn't die tomorrow because he really hates the number 13.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A New Month - A New Storm
The First Storm:
January, 2011
I didn't fair too well with my first month of goals. By mid-January, everything was lost, everything seemed to fall apart. It seemed anything I had to say would be depressing and despondent, so I just didn't write anything at all. Additionally, I had no time or energy to "reflect" or write.
I knew 2011 was going to be a rough year for me and for my family and it started out with a bang. My husband's health condition just suddenly plummeted. He entered the hospital on January 3rd of this year and was discharged a week and a half later. It turned out the cancer had spread to the nerve endings of his spine and had affected his ability to walk. By the time he came home, he was 3 days into radiation, which was going well, but he had decided not to continue with his physical therapy while he was in the hospital. At his discharge, he could barely walk. We were set up with home care to include a nurse visit 2x a week, an occupational therapist 2x a week and a physical therapist 3x a week. I could definitely see an improvement by the end of the first week. The next week, he fell and with family members trying to help him up and bruising from the fall, he insisted on having a week off to rest.
That week was full of questions, concerns and torment for me. I got no sleep. Caring for him was/is becoming more and more of a physical strain as well and it takes longer to do the same tasks we had figured out how to do the week before. I started questioning if its time to call in hospice? Should I just let him rest and not force him to exercise? Should I let him just eat and drink however much he wants?
I began noticing new "symptoms"; changes in his behavior, mood, physical appearance and mental abilities.
To be continued ...
January, 2011
I didn't fair too well with my first month of goals. By mid-January, everything was lost, everything seemed to fall apart. It seemed anything I had to say would be depressing and despondent, so I just didn't write anything at all. Additionally, I had no time or energy to "reflect" or write.
I knew 2011 was going to be a rough year for me and for my family and it started out with a bang. My husband's health condition just suddenly plummeted. He entered the hospital on January 3rd of this year and was discharged a week and a half later. It turned out the cancer had spread to the nerve endings of his spine and had affected his ability to walk. By the time he came home, he was 3 days into radiation, which was going well, but he had decided not to continue with his physical therapy while he was in the hospital. At his discharge, he could barely walk. We were set up with home care to include a nurse visit 2x a week, an occupational therapist 2x a week and a physical therapist 3x a week. I could definitely see an improvement by the end of the first week. The next week, he fell and with family members trying to help him up and bruising from the fall, he insisted on having a week off to rest.
That week was full of questions, concerns and torment for me. I got no sleep. Caring for him was/is becoming more and more of a physical strain as well and it takes longer to do the same tasks we had figured out how to do the week before. I started questioning if its time to call in hospice? Should I just let him rest and not force him to exercise? Should I let him just eat and drink however much he wants?
I began noticing new "symptoms"; changes in his behavior, mood, physical appearance and mental abilities.
To be continued ...
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