Annual Post

It seems my good intentions (aka "resolutions") start out pretty well with each new year, but, by the end of the year, it's all "try again after January 1st." So, now that the first of the new year has rolled around, it's time for all of my do-overs. I'll try again to do things that I deem important, but most of which are just day-fillers; things to worry about, focus my attention on.

This new year's focus, and daily focus, I want to be rooted in the bible, and I'll tell you why.

I wrote a sort of "poem" the other day, or maybe it was just a ramble, about death. Towards the end of the piece, it was clear to me that I was the "Observer." The focus of the poem was to show how dying looked to two different men. The one man, named "Hope", didn't want to die, but towards the end, he saw hope, he saw his family and friends who had passed before him, and he was at peace. The second man, named "Dread", thought he wanted to die, but when he saw the gates of hell open before him, he was terrified; he could find no friends or family because in hell, there is only isolation. I picture it as an eternal sensory deprivation chamber, but maybe that's just me. The thought of anyone I know dying in that way, and especially, spending eternity that way sickens me, especially if there were something that I could have said or done to prevent it. We're all called to be witnesses and disciples for Jesus, but I've always felt uncomfortable coming right out and saying anything for fear of offending someone, or angering someone, or being questioned and not knowing the answers. By being merely an "observer" to this life, I have no purpose. God has given me the gift* to write and create (or at the very least, the gift to believe that I have such a gift), and there's no excuse for not using that to tell what I do know. If anyone has any questions, I can find someone to give you an answer, or, surprise of surprise, I may know the answer.

So, we'll see if my newest, latest resolutions last past today. I'll post that poem tomorrow (at least, I intend to.)

Happy 2017.

*To learn about Spiritual Gifts, read 1 Corinthians Chapter 12.

Meditation

I've spent the entire day just exhausted and rather blah. Really took it easy today, though and tried to find comfort in all of my friends' words of wisdom and inspiration and most importantly, support. I'll be sharing a lot of those comments later because they really do put things in perspective.

Several months ago, I went to a bookstore with my daughter and her boyfriend. I just can NOT go into a bookstore without buying something. After about an hour and a half of picking up books and putting them back (on such a wide range of subjects) I came across Meditation A Beginner's Guide by Charlotte Parnell. For some reason, I decided that was the one for me. I carried it around in my backpack for about 5 months before realizing, I am never going to read it, so I put it on our bookshelf.

Over the past couple of weeks, with all my thinking, reflecting, trying to get a grasp on 'the big picture' that we call life, I decided to return the book to my backpack. Last week, while visiting with my husband in the hospital, I pulled it out and started reading. This woman understood me! She even starts out talking about 'the big picture'. So, I've been reading it as time has allowed over the past couple of days and finally made it to the first meditation exercise. It was amazing!!!

I feel calmer and less depressed. Definitely a step in the right direction :)

New Years Theme

I spent a lot of today thinking how to incorporate my New Year's theme into my day to day life. Too many "things" kept swirling around in my mind and became very overwhelming. The problem with New Years and the feeling or need to completely change yourself, your life, your habits is its too much at once. Its taken me 47 years to become the person I am today and if I want to change that, it certainly isn't going to happen the first week of 2011. What popped into my head and has been swimming around in there all day long is part of a wonderful song from the "Sound of Music":

"Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with
ABC
When you sing you begin with do re mi"

It occurred to me, that's the answer. Start at the beginning. So that's what I'm going to try to do.