What's the Cost?

Early spring my cousins did a lot of work on my yard, pulling weeds, trimming bushes, etc.  Trimming the pair of bushes next to the back patio exposed a lone golf ball.  They left it there, and I have too for all of these months as a reminder.  This was my husband's golf ball.  He loved the fact that our backyard was long enough that he could practice his swing (I guess this one got away).  He loved being out back working on his garden, or shooting hoops, or even just sitting on the porch swing.  This golf ball is a reminder to me that life is a precious gift.  Its a fragile gift that needs our full, undivided attention.

Today marks the anniversary of my husband's visit to the emergency room where we found out that he had stage 3 colon cancer.  That was 2007.  He passed away on Valentine's Day, 2011.  His only consolation during everything was that his colon cancer got several people to have colonoscopies, some which revealed pre-cancerous polyps.  So, on anniversaries such as this, and whenever I can, I try to remind people of the importance of doing this and to offer information that others may not know to help them make a more informed decision.  I hope you'll read all of this.

When I talk to people about getting one, I get the same responses over and over again, so I would like to address those this year, especially in light of the fact that my 44 year old brother just had 4 polyps removed.

Colon cancer is the 3rd highest cause of death among all of the types of cancers, BUT its one of the few that can be detected at such an early stage that it could be wiped out if everyone had colonoscopies.  So, why doesn't everyone have a colonoscopy?

No. 1 reason:  It's Nasty.
For approximately 24 hours before the procedure, you have to drink foul tasting stuff that will clean out your system, which means spending a lot of time on the toilet.  I agree, that is nasty, but look at the alternatives:
- if a tumor is found, 2 nurses will hold you down and run a tube through your nose, down your throat and into your stomach in order to clean out your system.  Its called an NG tube.  Even a sip of water will come back up through the tube.  Imagine being like that for at least 5 days.  How does one day of diarrhea compare to that?
- while on chemo you will have days and days of diarrhea and maybe need to be admitted to the hospital to get rehydrated.
- the stuff you have to drink for various tests is even nastier than the prep for the colonoscopies, and you will be required to drink these every so many months as part of your treatment.

No. 2 reason:  It cost too much.
I was put off by the cost also and most insurance companies won't pay for it; they'll apply it towards your deductible, but the doctors will want to work out a payment plan with you before your procedure.  So, you're looking at about $1000 over maybe 3 months.
The alternative:
- Cancer is expensive.  All of the medications and doctor visits, specialists, copays, deductibles, maximum out of pocket expense, etc. over the course of 3 1/2 years, I estimate to be at least $27,000, and we had a really good insurance plan.  My monthly premiums the last two years were over $1200/month which is on top of the $27,000.  Then there's the hundreds of thousands of dollars the insurance company paid (but its still cheaper for them to do this than to cover the cost of colonoscopies for everyone).  Everyone wants their money first.  You have to call each company and work out payment plans.

No. 3 reason:  I don't have any symptoms.
By the time you have symptoms you will probably have, at least, stage 3 colon cancer.

No. 4 reason:  I did the "smear" test.
By the time anything shows up on a smear test, you will probably have stage 3 colon cancer.  All the smear test does is detect blood in the stool.  My husband's tumor was in the large colon, it would have never shown a result by this method.

No. 5 reason:  We don't have a history of colon cancer in the family.
The number of people who are getting cancer is growing everyday.  Why do you think there are so many new cancer facilities being built?  Its a booming business.  Its our lifestyles, the food we eat, stress, alcohol and other drug abuse, our environment.  Its no longer just genetics.  BUT, if you do have a family history of any type of cancer, and especially colon cancer, don't wait until you're 50 to have a colonoscopy.

Please, please, please, do yourself and your family a favor.  Go have a colonoscopy.  The alternatives are so much worse.  If you don't want to have one, that's your decision, of course, but tell me...

...how would you like to be remembered?

In loving memory

Kenneth B. Weeks

11/12/51-2/14/11

Donations:

American Cancer Society

Stand Up To Cancer - be sure to watch September 7th.  8pm Eastern/7pm Central on ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX

Hospice of Dayton

 Please click any of the links above for more information.  I am not receiving compensation for them.

FROM ONE PUMPKIN TO ANOTHER

From one pumpkin to another!!!!!!!
A woman was asked by a coworker,
'What is it like to be a Christian?'
The coworker replied, 'It is like being a pumpkin.'
God picks you from the patch, brings you in,
and washes all the dirt off of you.
Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.
Then He carves you a new smiling face and
puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.'
This was passed on to me by another pumpkin.
Now it's your turn to pass it to other pumpkins.
I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.


I cleaned up one of my inboxes today and found this at the bottom of a spam email. I love finding a treasure among all the junk :)

About Me

re-posted from another one of my blogs:

*****************************************

I took an online class a couple of years ago and the first assignment was to write a brief description of yourself. This really turned out to be a difficult thing for me to do because I took it way too seriously. It was also an interesting observation of humanity; well, if the small group of classmates are a true sampling of all humans, which in this instance, I think they were.

If someone said to you, "tell me about yourself". Without taking the time to think it through, what would your response be? First, everyone stated their first name, but then approximately 70% of the class began their description as a definition of their relationships.

- "Hi. My name is Karen and I've been married to the most wonderful man..

- "I'm Brenda and my fiance and I have been together for 10 years...

-"Hey. My name is Sharon and I have two adorable boys, ages 8 and 10,...

The remaining 30% began with their occupation.

- "Yeah, I'm Susan and I've been a sales rep for the past 15 years,...

-"Hi everyone, my name is Lori and I'm a paralegal,...

I know this may seem like nothing to even ponder, on the surface, but I was really fascinated by this. 100% of the people chose an element of their life beyond their self as a means of describing themselves.

So, I looked at it from another point of view: if a total stranger were standing before me and was asked to describe me, what would that person say? Most definitely, the person would use adjectives to describe my physical appearance.

- "She's a woman, middle-aged, short, with curly hair and kind of pudgy."

Well, that's not exactly what I call a great way to introduce myself to a group of strangers. So I went back to the relationships and career, but I didn't want to be defined that way either. Who am I? What is the most defining point of my existence?

I don't have answers to those questions, yet, but I hope to, someday. Until then:

Hi! My name is Shari. I'm a 47 year old female who lives in Dayton, OH. I am a widow and miss my husband very much; I still grieve. I am a Christian who is fascinated with all religions. I have two grown daughters whom I'm very proud of and extremely thankful for. I have the most supportive parents in the world and am fortunate to be able to live so close to them. I have found the best and most loving and supportive friends through Etsy and I hope that someday we can all meet. When I grow up, I want to help people. I want my life on earth to mean something. I want to accomplish things, important things. I want to have time to enjoy my family and friends, to write and read and travel...

I read a church sign once that said "Have you made God smile today?"

I want to make God smile!

Missing Ken

Its been a very difficult 6 weeks since the passing of my husband. I've gone through so many emotions, thoughts, feelings, ideas and life altering plans that I don't even know what is real anymore. I came here today because I thought it might help, and was feeling particularly great this morning when I woke up, like a great burden had been lifted. It felt almost normal to be me for the first time in forever. Then, when I signed in, I saw the blog I had made for my husband: Kenneth Weeks Memorial, and I reminisced and got all teary eyed. That linked to his blog, Mr. Natural's Homeplate, which made me miss him so much more, all over again, and also made me realize, that while I may have had a breakthrough today, its not "over."

Its my intention to start writing here as often as possible in the hopes of working through some things and also to share information with others who are going through the same thing. There is so much to share and unload. Some posts will be morbidly sad of course, but hopefully some will be positive and inspiring; and, if no one reads any of this, that's ok, too, because it will be of some help to me.

Today, I completed the first task given to me in a Grief Education meeting: I acknowledged that my husband has passed away and is not coming back.

The Beginning of the End

I've put my shops on vacation mode for the time being. Ken has gone downhill extremely fast and yesterday he was in so much pain he just couldn't even sit still. His doctor had written his pain prescriptions wrong (less mg) so I took what I was given and gave Ken double everything so that it was the same dose he was receiving before Irefilled them. The hospice nurse called to get more &/or something different, but he (the doctor) wouldn't do it. So, the hospice nurse managed to get Ken a room at the hospice center. Its very nice here and his pain is finally under control and he's resting comfortably. He may only have 1 day left, or it could be a few, no one can say for sure. I went home to sleep last night, but will probably stay here the rest of the time except for going home to visit Velvet and to get cleaned up. They have a shower here, but I'd rather just go home for it.

I'll probably be online a lot or reading. Trying to keep my sh*t together and my mind occupied. I just keep running through all the things I procrastinated on and now i have to deal with it all now when i'm most unable to. luckily i have a very close knit family and we'll manage through together. I hope he doesn't die tomorrow because he really hates the number 13.

A New Month - A New Storm

The First Storm:
January, 2011
I didn't fair too well with my first month of goals. By mid-January, everything was lost, everything seemed to fall apart. It seemed anything I had to say would be depressing and despondent, so I just didn't write anything at all. Additionally, I had no time or energy to "reflect" or write.

I knew 2011 was going to be a rough year for me and for my family and it started out with a bang. My husband's health condition just suddenly plummeted. He entered the hospital on January 3rd of this year and was discharged a week and a half later. It turned out the cancer had spread to the nerve endings of his spine and had affected his ability to walk. By the time he came home, he was 3 days into radiation, which was going well, but he had decided not to continue with his physical therapy while he was in the hospital. At his discharge, he could barely walk. We were set up with home care to include a nurse visit 2x a week, an occupational therapist 2x a week and a physical therapist 3x a week. I could definitely see an improvement by the end of the first week. The next week, he fell and with family members trying to help him up and bruising from the fall, he insisted on having a week off to rest.

That week was full of questions, concerns and torment for me. I got no sleep. Caring for him was/is becoming more and more of a physical strain as well and it takes longer to do the same tasks we had figured out how to do the week before. I started questioning if its time to call in hospice? Should I just let him rest and not force him to exercise? Should I let him just eat and drink however much he wants?

I began noticing new "symptoms"; changes in his behavior, mood, physical appearance and mental abilities.

To be continued ...

Sing

When you're feeling kinda down, and are having a hard time getting out of your funk, then try singing. Just sing a song...