A friend of mine became a widow in her late forties. When she felt ready to date, she joined a couple of dating sites and wrote in her journal what her idea of a "perfect man" was. She described him as:
loves the arts, to go places, to travel yet staying at home is ok, tooability to be spontaneousnot an outdoor person per sespiritualliberala man’s man, but not so aggressive as to start a fight over every little thingsomeone supportive, not overpowering or controllingwho talks a lot but can also listen and respond to what I’m sayingisn’t afraid to express his emotions even if they don’t make sensea little romance would be nice, maybe even a gift and/or flowers on occasion and it doesn’t even have to be an occasionwould be nice to have someone who can fix things but can also allow professionals to step in when needed.
These were things that she felt were most important from the lessons she learned during her first marriage.
The following week she prayed about it. The very next day she was contacted by the man who would become her husband. He fit the bill almost perfectly except he doesn't "love" the arts, (but he will accompany her to certain events), he is very much an outdoor person and is about as far from liberal as you can get. Despite those few differences, she felt like he was sent from God in response to her prayer and that he was her perfect man in every other aspect, so it was meant to be. However, it became evident very quickly that they were complete opposites in nearly every way, which confused her notion that they were destined to be together.
Politics played a huge roll in accentuating their differences. She didn't understand why it was such a big deal and she especially didn't understand why he constantly wanted to talk about it. They broke up several times while they dated and even separated once after they were married but they always got back together. There was something bigger than their differences at work. Some positive force that always reunites them. I think that positive force is God. I think He has a plan for them or at the very least, sees a reason they should be together.
Maybe He feels that their love for Him and their commitment to Him is way more important than their differences. The break-ups are just to remind them they love each other and can't live without the other one. Missing each other makes all of the differences between them seem insignificant. Over the years, they've learned to compromise and to allow each other the grace to have their differing opinions.
Maybe, we as Christians can draw from this just how important our love for God and our commitment to God are. It's the tie that binds us together. It's the most important aspect of our lives that we have in common and it's greater than all of our collective differences. If we can rest in that and be a loving, peaceful, united front, then maybe the world will take notice and want to be a part of what we have.
We need speech that unites us, that spreads
grace, not blame
love, not hate
peace, not violence
hope, not despair, ...
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Romans 14:19 ESV
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Please join me this week in praying for unity among God's children.
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