On Being Essential

A New Normal - part 3

Over the last two weeks, I really wanted to be an encourager, an inspiration, a spiritual cheerleader of sorts to anyone I came in contact with, whether on social media or by phone or even in person, but I just haven't been feeling it really, at least not consistently. I thought it was because I've been sick (for 14 L-O-N-G days!) which is probably a lot of it, but today I had an epiphany.
     However, first, I want to tell you my pre-epiphanies, in case any of them would apply to someone else. My mental and emotional symptoms were depression and high, high anxiety - as in I would get in 3,000-5,800 steps a day just from pacing. I knew I wasn't scared or nervous about the pandemic because I find peace in my faith. Although I did realize from my "be still" time, that I needed to focus more of my time, thoughts, and activities on God.

So, I started with a physical assessment: I looked at how much coffee I was drinking: 5 cups a day, same as always (I know, I know). Maybe it was from going off NyQuil, but that never happened before. It could be a lack of sleep because I haven't slept well in at least a week. But none of that seems to warrant so much anxiety.
     Since it involved depression, it had to be mental in some way, especially if it wasn't spiritually or physically related. I knew it couldn't be that I'm stuck at home because honestly, that's ideal for someone like me. It very well could have been because my calendar was clear for the first time in forever. So, I got out my to-do list and added in things I want to accomplish during this time period and my anxiety reached new levels, so that wasn't it.
     Then, I dug a little deeper...loss of community. That's probably a big one for a lot of people. So I reached out to my church family and set up some Zoom meetings; my Pastor started making some prayer videos which helped me feel better, but it still wasn't enough; it wasn't the cure.

After another night of no sleep, I woke up this morning and decided to start from scratch. I laid in bed and tried to still my mind but my restless dreams kept coming to the foreground. They were dreams about work, family, church...and I began to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. Guilt for not working, not earning a paycheck, not seeing my family, not serving in the church and who knows what else was involved that I didn't remember dreaming about. I have spent my entire life taking charge, no - actually more like taking "control" of situations (at least in my mind), handling and caring and protecting others and I can't do that in the midst of a world controlled by an unseen and unknown enemy (which sounds a lot like Satan, but at least we know him and how he operates and how to defend ourselves against him); one that spreads and infects and kills at such a rapid pace that no one can get ahead of it.
     Even though all of this is completely out of my control, it is what has been weighing on me. I feel helpless. I'm not essential personnel in any respect. Maybe that's a pride thing, but I like to think it's a longing of my recently discovered servant's heart. There are some volunteer opportunities, but I am still sick and have basically been sick off and on since last November, so I don't consider going out into the physical world to be an option, really.

So, how to fix this...
- I want to put more time and effort into reaching out to people.
- I will allow myself to feel that even something as simple as a daily bible verse may help someone; it may be just the message that someone needs to see from our loving Father.
- I will understand that staying home is my job for now and I will try to use this time as an opportunity to bring honor and glory to God in ways that I'm sure He will share with me.
- The hardest one for me is that I will quit judging myself based on life before the coronavirus. Actually, I want to expand that...I want to quit judging myself, and quit worrying about what others think of me - I hate that I've ever cared. People have been making fun of me my whole life for one thing or another and instead of developing a thick skin, it just made me more self-conscious. Well, enough is enough. What God thinks of me is my only concern and He knows I'm not perfect and He loves me anyway. His judgment is the only judgment that matters.

This is now part of my new normal.

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, 

“Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

Mark 9:35 NIV

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A New Normal - A blog series dedicated to my ability (or inability) to live through this unprecedented period of time - one of a coronavirus, covid-19, pandemic, social distancing, shelter-in-place existence.
Part 1     A New Normal
Part 2     Be Still
Part 3     On Being Essential

Be Still

A New Normal - part 2

God has been urging me, pretty relentlessly, I might add, to just stop and be still. For some reason, I've been fighting Him for days before finally realizing that I didn't have the strength to keep doing that.
     After talking to a few people, I realize that I was fighting being still due to anxiety. Until this coronavirus took over, I was pretty busy, as in work all day and then some sort of meeting or gathering or activity most evenings. This virus cleared my calendar and that was kind of daunting.

See all the X's? (The rest I blurred)

      Not that I could possibly ever be bored because I always have a massive to-do list of cleaning, organizing, correspondence, plus I'm working(? if you can call it that) on several books, plus prayer time, and bible time and online friends and groups, etc... Oh, and I consider myself an introvert so having this time alone should be ideal, but still, there was anxiety. I think you've probably all seen that post on FB:

That was what I felt like God was saying to me and I'm so embarrassed to admit that I did not relent to just being still, even though I knew that's what He wanted me to do.
     Today, He made it so I just couldn't put it off anymore (thankfully). So, what did He want to tell me? One - write this blog post. Encourage everyone to stop what they're doing to try to cope, to try to help, and just be still. Open your mind and let Him in and He will guide you, and give you comfort and peace to get through this most unusual period of time.

     And two - well, it's a little complicated so all I could do was sketch it out. You take away from it what you want, but I believe the short of it is, let go of the problems of this world and keep your focus on God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. "Focus" came to mind 3 times, that's why they're circled, so I think that's the most important part. Keep your focus where it should be. We keep wanting to root ourselves in this world, but it is so very temporary. Focus on your eternal future by utilizing your spiritual gift(s) that God has chosen specifically for you to do His will. Through that, you will find peace and joy and comfort and courage for your soul.

Take today and just, BE STILL.

Be still, and know that I am God;

Psalm 46:10a

Man can't live by bread alone

But He answered and said, 

“It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, 

but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ”

Matthew 4:4 NKJV

The sheep hear His voice and follow

But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.
John 10:2-4 (NKJV)

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.
John 10:27-28 (NKJV)

God may speak to you in several ways

For God may speak in one way, or in another,

Yet man does not perceive it.

In a dream, in a vision of the night,

When deep sleep falls upon men,

While slumbering on their beds,

Then He opens the ears of men,

And seals their instruction.

In order to turn man from his deed,

And conceal pride from man,

He keeps back his soul from the Pit,

And his life from perishing by the sword.

Job 33:14-19 (NKJV)

Faith comes from hearing

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Romans 10:17 NKJV

John MacArthur writes in his commentary* for vv. 14, 15: "a clear presentation of the gospel message must precede true saving faith...Salvation comes to those who hear and believe the facts of the gospel."
Therefore, we need to be talking about the gospel; verbally sharing it. This is difficult for me since I'm more of an introvert, but God gives us the gifts and the words to make it happen. I personally find that I do a lot better when I pray for help to share the Good News.


* MacArthur, John (1997). The MacArthur Study Bible, New King James version.
     Thomas Nelson, Inc. Nashville, TN.

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Please join our prayer group as we spend the week praying that we might hear. I'll post daily reminders on:
twitter @7DegreesOfMe
instagram @archadia27
facebook group 7th Hour Prayer Power

Hear the word of God

Hear with your ears

Moreover He said to me: 

“Son of man, receive into your heart 

all My words that I speak to you, 

and hear with your ears.

Ezekiel 3:10 (NKJV)

Pray for hearing

     With our crazy, messy, busy lives, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle; never taking time for ourselves. There are always people to call, errands to run, emails to answer. Even eating and sleeping often take a back seat because there just aren't enough hours in the day.
     We need to make time to just sit and relax, quietly, purposefully. Tell your muscles to relax. Tell your mind to let it go (whatever "it" is for you). Close your eyes, inhale deeply through your nose. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a blowing sound as you do. Repeat a few times until you feel more relaxed. Be still.
     Have you been praying without hearing God's answers? By finding time to be still, you're finding time to spend with God. Listen. He will place on your heart His will for you. He will give you guidance, direction, answers.
     In those times of stillness, ask God questions and pray that you might hear His responses.
Be still and know He is God. (modified from Psalm 46:10)

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

Psalm 37:7a ESV

*****

Please join our prayer group as we spend the week praying that we might hear. I'll post daily reminders on:
twitter @7DegreesOfMe
instagram @archadia27
facebook group 7th Hour Prayer Power