Jesus wept.
John 11:35
The shortest verse in the Bible, and in my opinion, the most powerful. Jesus was so moved by Lazurus' mourners that he also cried.
I imagine Jesus feels all of our pains and sorrows, crying when we cry, rejoicing when we rejoice, yet we often hide our negative emotions from the world. Maybe we think our true emotions makes us appear weak; maybe we're just too full of pride to let others share in our sorrows and pain. We don't want others to know that we're depressed and hurting. We would rather suffer alone. It's so senseless and even hypocritical. I do it, too. When someone asks me how I am or how I'm feeling, I'll answer "fine" or even "good" when really, I'm a fragile mess beneath that cheery facade.
Maybe we don't want to create an awkward situation by answering that we're sad or lonely. Or, maybe we just don't want to talk about something, but we're also denying that friend the opportunity to help or comfort us.
I overheard a waitress training someone. She said, "And if you're having a bad day, just put on a big smile, and soon you'll feel better." That could be good advice, and it could possibly work, but, in the long run, you're not dealing with whatever has you down. All you're doing is putting on a very fragile veil that you hope others won't look past so that you can suffer alone.
I get it. I do this, too. There's a fine line between sharing and burdening sometimes, but if you're talking to a family member or a true friend, that barrier can be broken over and over again and be repaired each time.
I'm a bundle of emotions right now. I'm sad; I feel empty - sometimes numb - inside. I'm still in shock that my short marriage is over and that I'm living in my parents' house, yet again. I'm embarrassed and angry and anxious and depressed, yet day after day I let on that I'm strong, independent, understanding; that I'm fine with all of this. I don't want other people to feel awkward and I don't want to bring them down with me.
In less than a month, I've been uprooted from my husband, my home, my church, and my community. I have no sense of belonging.
Today is the final move. I've been very emotional. I've wept.
*****
Please join me this week in praying for those who hide their emotions, for whatever reason, that they may open up to you and that you may comfort them or help them heal in a timely and healthy way. So often people who hide their emotions are the ones who are in the direst need to talk to someone. Offer your ear to listen and/or your shoulder to cry on. You don't have to offer suggestions, cures, or anything. You just need to be there.
I'll post daily reminders on:
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7th Hour Prayer Power