Yesterday was quite a day. I found out that three people I know passed away over the last two days. I've never known that to happen. It's a reminder that we aren't promised tomorrow.
My heart turns toward the widows and the children and grandchildren. This week we've been praying for those who are isolated, but this is an entirely different type of isolation. The widows will each grieve differently but eventually will go through all of the stages of grief. Maybe it will help to share a short version of what I went through when my husband died, so you don't feel alone in the process, or through the journey.
The first day I was just in complete shock and denial. After just a few hours to rest and cry, I jumped into planning mode. There are so many things to do and decisions to make in the first few days. It really shouldn't be that way, but then again, I personally appreciated the busy-ness. It allowed me to postpone my real feelings and dealing with the impending dam that was about to burst until the time came when it wasn't going to wait any longer.
At the memorial service, I was busy being the hostess. People probably thought I was acting strange considering my husband just passed away, but I was busy talking to the guests, sharing stories, serving food. I was all smiles. I even laughed occasionally.
Finally, when it was all over and I could go home to my empty house and relax; when there was absolutely nothing else that I had to do, it hit me. I can't remember much after that except that I wanted to be alone, but also wanted to be available to my daughters. I slept a lot, watched movies, snuggled with my dog.
What helped the most was praying, though, and reading my Bible. I decided to take a vow of silence for one entire day and spent that time in the word, and in constant prayer. I asked God questions and sat silently and listened for His answers. It was just an amazing experience.
One thing that I couldn't shake though, was the hole I felt inside of me. When Genesis says, "the two shall be as one," it means that a married couple has a shared heart, mind, soul, existence, and when half of that person is gone, it leaves a hole inside that can never be completely filled. That was the hardest part, adjusting to that, learning to live with it. It took a lot of prayers, and as they say, "time heals all wounds."
So, to the widows, especially my friend D.H., know that I'm here for you and can empathize with what you're going through. Give yourself time and permission to process this the way that you need to process it and don't let others influence you or try to tell you how you should be feeling, or coping. Be true to yourself; take it one day at a time.
Now she who is really a widow, and left alone,
trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.
1 Timothy 5:5 NKJV
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Please join me this week in praying for those who are isolated and feeling lonely, depressed, and/or anxious due to being separated from others. Let's ask the Lord to fill their hearts with courage to seek out others, and determination to come up with solutions/ways to cope with their new normal. Pray that God uses us and others to lift their spirits and that the Holy Spirit works inside each of them and fills them with hope and peace.
I'll post daily reminders on:
twitter @7DegreesOfMe
Facebook group 7th Hour Prayer Power
#7thHourPrayerPower #BibleVerses #bible #depression #isolation #lonliness #prayer #widow
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