The last three years of my first marriage were the hardest, but they were also the best. It took a while to get to the good part though.
When he was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, we were told his odds were about 50-50. The surgeon gave him even worse odds, so we ignored him.
At first, everything was horrible. The whole process of getting started with treatment is very debilitating in that there are so many unknowns, and we spent so much time looking stuff up online and reading books because the time between diagnosis and actually starting treatment was about two months. That can seem like an eternity. We felt an urgency to start treatment, or at the very least meet with our oncologist and get answers, but nothing about the entire journey happened quickly.
Because of this added stress, I began feeling like I was going to die. All the camomile tea in the world couldn't calm my heart or mind. I was praying diligently by that point, and it was in answer to those prayers that God got me to finally see a doctor.
Our insurance was no longer accepted by my family doctor (I had been going there since I was a child; it was hard to move away from him), so I had to find a new doc. In the waiting room, I filled out all of these forms. I was getting anxious and stressed out. Then I got to the form where I had to mark the symptoms and illnesses experienced. With each checkmark, it began to sink in how sick I really was...all of the chest/breathing questions, check, all of the head questions, check, all of the digestive questions, check, all of the mental questions, check, check, and check. I started crying. When did I get so messed up?!
By the time we got the exam room and the doctor came in, I was balling. My husband had to translate what I was trying to say and filled in about his diagnosis. The doctor said part of it was a type of pre-grieving, which made sense. My husband and I were one, as in Genesis. We went everywhere together, even worked together; we were inseparable. My thoughts were never of what it would be like without the verbal abuse. It was always more like, what will happen when half of me is stripped away?
The doctor also said I was suffering from anxiety and depression so he prescribed some medicine for those. Those pills changed my life. For the first time in 27 years, I was able to cope with difficult situations. The medicine didn't get rid of all of my physical symptoms that resulted from anxiety, but it diminished the severity of them. I was taking a lot less over-the-counter medication.
I also went through some testing to make sure none of my physical issues were because of physical disease. They weren't. Everything checked out. With all of this taken care of, and my increased prayer life, and getting back into the word, I was able to focus better on taking care of my husband through this horrible disease, and juggling work, family, finances, and all of the other parts of my life.
I just want to encourage anyone who's reading this who needs help with a mental condition to seek help. Just go to your family doctor and begin a conversation with what you're struggling with. Pray to our Father for guidance and courage to ask for help.
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:7 ESV*********
Please join me this week in praying for those who suffer from any type of mental illness. Pray that they will find strength and hope and comfort in the Lord. Let's also pray that they seek earthly counsel and aid.
I'll post daily reminders on:
twitter @7DegreesOfMe
Facebook group 7th Hour Prayer Power
#7thHourPrayerPower #BibleVerses #bible #depression #anxiety #testimony #Jesus #hope #help #MentalBreakdown #therapist
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