Tuesday, August 11, 2020

My abyss

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
The super-condensed version of my fall into the Abyss of Mental Illness began with college. It should be noted that for whatever reason when I left for school, I left my church-life and bibles at home. I even quit praying. 
     College was absolutely horrible, and abandoning my faith just made it worse, but I didn't realize that at the time. There were project deadlines and all-nighters; my professors were so negative and just downright mean. I was overwhelmed, which led to anxiety and then depression. During my second year, I started having these meltdowns. My main studio professor said it was her job to weed out the weak, and that she did. I ended up dropping out during year 3 of a 5-year program. All of my dreams for my life were shattered and I didn't have a plan B, so, I had to move back in with my parents. I went to church, but my heart and soul just weren't feeling it. 
     I got a job in Cincinnati, but it didn't pay enough for me to get an apartment so I had to commute from Dayton every day. There was a sleazy salesman at that company who I was warned to 'not get caught alone with,' which freaked me out. He touched me on the shoulder one day and I hyperventilated. Shortly after that, I was fired (it was the 80s). 
     So, I moved to Michigan to live with my boyfriend, his mom, his brother, and his brother's fiance. My boyfriend and I broke up, so I moved back in with my parents, only, while I was living in Michigan, my grandmother moved into my parents' house and they gave her my room since it was assumed that I was going to marry this guy. I lived in their rec room. 
     I pretty much felt as if I had hit rock bottom. If only I hadn't turned my back on God, or if I had only asked Him for help during any of this, life might have been more bearable. As it was, I had nothing to cling to. 
When the righteous cry for help, 
the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, 
but the Lord delivers him out of them all. 
Psalm 34:17-19 ESV

If you or anyone you know is suffering from any sort of mental condition, please reach out to someone. I encourage you to seek counseling; it has made a world of difference to me. Go to 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ to search for a therapist in your area. You can then filter the results to show only Christian counselors, then by issues, gender, therapy methods, etc. if you want. Pray for the strength and courage to take this vital step to recovery.

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Please join me this week in praying for those who suffer from any type of mental illness. Pray that they will find strength and hope and comfort in the Lord. Let's also pray that they seek earthly counsel and aid. 
 
I'll post daily reminders on:
twitter @7DegreesOfMe
Facebook group 7th Hour Prayer Power

#7thHourPrayerPower #BibleVerses #bible  #depression #anxiety #testimony #Jesus #hope #help #MentalBreakdown #therapist

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