Instructions for Christian Households Part 1

A long time ago wedding vows used to include the word "obey". When asking the woman, "do you take this man to love, honor and obey...", the Pastor was asking the woman if she will adhere to the teachings in Ephesians 5:22 (see verse below). However, with our struggle for equality, a lot of us had that word removed from the vows. For my first marriage, which was not a Christian marriage, I had it replaced with the word "cherish" which is the man's vow "love, honor and cherish..." so that our vows would be the same, equal. What I didn't understand until just recently is that men and women were not created equal; we are not the same.
     I have been a feminist my entire life. As a child, I would follow my mom around the house while she cleaned, and she would tell me things like, "when you get married, make sure everything's in your name." It was easy to understand the concept of inequality back then because it seemed to be reflected on television shows, and on the news, we would see marches and protests, and I'd hear my parents talk about it. So it is totally ingrained in my personality, in who I am and how I came to be the person I am, do the work I'm doing. So when I learned about this passage in Ephesians, it was a tough pill to swallow.
     I've taken the time to read different commentaries about it and listen to different sermons on the subject and pray about it which has been really worthwhile. I feel like I understand this better and why we're to submit and what that means for me in this time and place...
     I try to look at relationships as being modeled after the characteristics of the Trinity. The Son submits to the Father to do His will, yet the three are one and are equal. For a married couple, the wife is to submit to the husband yet we are "one flesh", so we are one and are equal. It is more about "respect" which we see in Ephesians 5:33, and a softened heart and attitude toward our husbands. If both husband and wife are struggling to be in control, it makes for a very tumultuous relationship. We bear the penalty of Eve's sin, and Christ bore the penalty of all of our sins. Christ is the bridegroom and we, the church, are the bride. He is the head and we are the body. He rules over us and we submit to His will. It all ties together.
     I pray that we all examine our marriages and see that we are respecting our husbands. If not, pray for a softened heart and see what a difference it makes.

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:21-24 NKJV
(emphasis mine)

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Please join me this week in praying for a married couple whose relationship is in trouble. If you don't know anyone whose marriage is struggling, please pray for the ones at my church. I don't know who they are, but God does and will hear our prayers to lift these couples up and soften their hearts.

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