Instructions for Christian Households Part 2

I've always wondered if Adam resented Eve for offering him that fruit, if he blamed her instead of owning up to the fact that he took the fruit of his own free will. I imagine angry words spoken on more than one occasion and there were probably times when he talked himself into believing this was entirely her fault. I also imagine a time or two when they had an argument that Eve probably threw this in his face as if she were blameless in the whole thing. Yes they were literally made for each other but since the fall, their lives had to have been difficult which undoubtedly put a strain on their marriage from time to time. But, with all of the stress of being evicted from the garden, and having to learn how to take care of themselves, and populate the earth, etc...I imagine that their love was like none other. Eve was created from Adam; she was a part of him.
(I wish I had a segway from those ponderings to what I was planning on writing about, but I don't. It was just stuff I think about.)
     After Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands, he tells husbands to love their wives. You would think that would be a given, after all, people usually get married because they love each other, right? But men sometimes have a difficult time showing their love, or at least, showing it in a way that the wife perceives it as love.
     John MacArthur wrote that husbands are to love their wives "with the same unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Christ has for His church."* I would say that's as difficult as wives submitting to their husbands. Both commands are necessary to make a happy, healthy marriage.
     Think about something you expect or need from your spouse and how you feel when that need isn't met. Is the need rooted in respect or love?
     A friend of mine really needs her husband to look up from whatever he's doing when she comes home. She needs him to see her. When he doesn't, she doesn't feel loved, like she isn't important enough to distract him from his phone. In turn, her husband really needs her to do her share of the work around the house. When she doesn't, he feels like he has to do it all which builds resentment and frustration. He feels like she isn't respecting his wishes or his time. Both expectations may seem small, but if they're ignored, over time, it could do a lot of damage to the relationship.
     If you're talking to someone going through marital problems, see if they will allow you to pray with them. I had so much I wanted to write about this subject, examples from my own marriages, etc., but I'm running out of days of the week. Each example that I thought about, though, came down to a lack of love or respect. Whenever we stray from God's plan, things don't work out well. Sometimes it takes a set-back to get us back on track.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33 NKJV

* MacArthur, John (1997). The MacArthur Study Bible, New King James version.
     Thomas Nelson, Inc. Nashville, TN.

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Please join me this week in praying for a married couple whose relationship is in trouble. If you don't know anyone whose marriage is struggling, please pray for the ones at my church. I don't know who they are, but God does and will hear our prayers to lift these couples up and soften their hearts.

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