Marriage is difficult. If it were easy, everyone would get married and stay married and there would never be any divorce. We like to believe that if we're married to "the one" that everything should be harmonious and perfect but even the strongest marriages need to be nurtured (or so I assume).
I'm going to tell you about the very first marriage. You think you have problems? Imagine spoiling paradise for the entire world for the next several thousand years! That would put a strain on anyone's marriage! This may seem like a Bible lesson, but I have a reason for going through this, so please bear with me. We need this review every so often to remind us why marriage works (or doesn't work) the way it does and why we have the roles we do.
It all started in the garden...
God made Adam in His Own image but didn't want him to be alone. So God caused a deep sleep to fall over Adam and took one of his ribs. From that, He created Woman. God didn't create Eve from the dust of the ground as He created Adam, which He very easily could have done. Instead, God took a part of Man to form a helpmate for him so that Man would never be alone.
One of my absolute favorite quotes is:
“The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”
― Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible
It sets up this relationship that God intended from the start, like Adam said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:23 ESV)
God provided the couple with food; herbs and trees of fruit. He gave them dominion over every living thing. He gave them a perfect garden in which to live. When it was all said and done, God declared that it was "very good."
God's only commandment was that Adam and Eve were not allowed to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He even told Adam that they would die if they did. We all know from experience that if you tell someone not to do something, the temptation to do that one thing is sometimes overwhelming. Even if we don't particularly care about that one thing, it seemingly calls to us. So, when Satan entered the garden, he compounded the problem even more. He was able to deceive Eve by casting doubt; 'surely you won't really die.' He made the fruit of that one tree even more tempting and more appealing by telling her that it would make her like a god. So, she ate.
This is the part that always confused me. We're taught this is Adam's sin, yet Eve was the one who gave into temptation. She was the one who offered it to Adam. However, what I learned was that Eve was deceived by Satan. When she offered the fruit to Adam, he just took it. He wasn't deceived. He knew better but ate the fruit anyway.
Notice in Genesis 3:3 when Eve was telling the serpent about the tree, she said: but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” (NKJV) God didn't tell Adam that he couldn't touch it, so most likely Adam added that extra rule to ensure that Eve wouldn't go near the tree (which, I'm guessing, made it even more tempting) yet, he was standing right there with her when she took a bite and didn't try to stop her and then took a bite himself without putting up any resistance. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. (Genesis 3:6b NKJV).
On top of that, when God confronted Adam, the first thing he did was throw Eve under the bus AND blame God since He gave Eve to him (Adam). When I realized all of that, I didn't feel so bad that Adam got the bulk of the blame.
Eve, in turn, blamed the serpent. Here's the point I'm getting to...in handing out punishments for disobeying God and allowing sin into the world ...
To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NKJV) (emphasis mine).
We always remember the pain of childbirth part of the curse, but I think we tend to gloss over the second half. As a woman living in the 21st Century, we don't take too kindly to being "ruled over"; some don't even like the idea of needing or desiring someone. We like to be independent and self-sufficient. But, because of the curse, this just isn't how it works. This is compounded even more in what God says to Adam before laying out his punishment.
...“Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’... (Genesis 3:17a NKJV)(emphasis mine).
Keep that in mind as we continue this topic.
Note:
Except where cited, I'm paraphrasing the first three chapters of Genesis.
Also, please note that nowhere does it say the fruit is an apple, nor does it call the serpent a snake. The serpent is a creature with legs until after the curse when part of his punishment is:
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life. Genesis 3:14b NKJV
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Please join me this week in praying for a married couple whose relationship is in trouble. If you don't know anyone whose marriage is struggling, please pray for the ones at my church. I don't know who they are, but God does and will hear our prayers to lift these couples up and soften their hearts.
I'll post daily reminders on:
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